Kansas City Royals: An Apology to the Opposition

For any layman Kansas City Royals fan, the October run of 2014 is something that will be remembered, honored, and discussed ad nauseum until the end of days or until the Glass family relocates to Montreal for the second coming of French Canadian professional baseball. It was a time for Kansas City to breath a sigh of belated relief, as the years of anguish watching a rag tag ensemble of highly touted prospects take bumbling baby steps was finally over; the training wheels were removed and meaningful baseball returned to the City of Fountains.

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For the outsider, following the Royals during the fall was pure excitement and another form of relief. Recent post-seasons were continually dominated by the colors of Boston, of St. Louis, of San Francisco, and Detroit; to see a team that was, as little as two years ago underperforming and falling well short of .500, successfully plow through division winners like loose soil was pure Hollywood. Although the Kansas City Royals fell a couple of run short of winning the ultimate prize, they scripted a wonderful Cinderella story.

And that was supposed to be the end of it. After losing James Shields, Billy Butler, and Nori Aoki to free agency and replacing them with a collection of discarded, checkered talent, the Kansas City Royals were supposed to be return to the comfy confines of the AL Central basement.

To the opposition, I must sincerely apologize. The Kansas City Royals do not wish to fulfill your demands.

I’m sorry that we are winning. And I’m really sorry that we are winning with offensive might. Starting out winning seven straight was not what Royals fans expected either. I regret to point out that our team, once scrapping the bottom of the barrel to manufacture runs out of thin air, now holds a run differential of +47, leading the Majors. I’m sorry we are hitting so many homers and the phrase “Dong Town” has entered the baseball lexicon.

I must also apologize for the fact that switching out James Shields for Edinson Volquez hasn’t resulted in a rotation breakdown or, worse, a lack of veteran leadership. Although the Kansas City Royals rotation ERA isn’t shutdown by any stretch, Volquez has been a solid addition.

I implore you to forgive us for Mike Moustakas. We know the guy’s a real thorn in your jock. The once berated offensive dunce has pulled a Stella and got his groove back, hitting to opposite field and bunting with ease. We know you put a lot of effort in faith in your exaggerated defensive shifts, so please accept our plea of forgiveness.

I know teams like Oakland, Minnesota, the White Sox, and Cleveland all tried their best to injure or jostle the egos of our young talent in a half-hearted attempt at leveling the playing field. Alex Rios sure was on a hot streak in the first week of the season, so breaking his hand was a cheap, but altogether successful tactic at removing his much needed defensive and offensive skills. But, yet again, I must extend my sympathies. How could all of you have known about Paulo Orlando, the once permanent minor leaguer? How could you foresee his five triple April? Brazilians should be busy mulling about soccer, am I right?

Furthermore, how was it even possible for a team like the Kansas City Royals to keep winning games in the face of suspension? We don’t get it either. We cannot fathom how sitting out the flamethrowing Yordano Ventura would net us a victory. Chris Young? That old guy with the funky delivery who’s fastball velocity wouldn’t ding a Prius? Color Royals fans blue with shock, but we’ll be damned if he didn’t quiet the roaring bats of the Detroit Tigers, no-hitting them through five innings.

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Is it fair that the only two elite aspects of the Kansas City Royals from last year, the defense and bullpen, simply got deeper and better this year?

No. It is not. Simply unfair.

We know the players and the fans tend get a little overzealous and eager over victories in April which, I must admit, do not factor largely into how the season will unfold. I know it’s really annoying when opposing teams come into the K on a Tuesday and see nearly 30,000 fans celebrate in a sea of blue wardrobe. It’s hard to defeat the Kansas City Royals with such revelry expanding from home plate to the nose-bleeders on a school night. Total Bush League.

I am so sorry we have so much fun.

I am sorry the Kansas City Royals aren’t the team you expected. I’m sorry the Kansas City Royals aren’t the team you deserve to play. I am, from the bottom of my heart, sorry that the Royals aren’t content with being a placeholder in the bottom of the league, leeching victories from the more deserving and praised clubs that spend rivers of money. It’s really not fair.

Sorry. Not Sorry.

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