Moss makes two visits to #DONGTOWN in Kansas City Royals win

The Kansas City Royals ruined Jarrod Dyson‘s return to the K. Or more specifically, Brandon Moss ruined Mariners pitching on Thursday night.

Brandon Moss homered twice for the Kansas City Royals in a Major League Baseball game in the year 2017.

(That doesn’t register in the normal font. Let’s bold it out.)

Brandon Moss homered twice for the Kansas City Royals in a Major League Baseball game in the year 2017.

(That’s better, but it still doesn’t quite off the full summation of the experience. Let’s go for a jump in font and some italics too.)

Brandon Moss homered twice for the Kansas City Royals in a Major League Baseball game in the year 2017.

There we go.

Yes indeed, that was a thing that happened Thursday night against the Seattle Mariners, and I gotta tell you, it was pretty incredible.

I mean, it had already happened once this year. So maybe incredible is not the proper word. But still, as terrible as he’s been for much of the year, it would be like watching a dead man come back to life. Or if the equally-appalling Alex Gordon suddenly crushed two dongs in the same game.

In general, it was a good night for the Kansas City Royals. Moss we’ve covered; Lorenzo Cain and Melky Cabrera had two knocks and an RBI apiece, with Cain also swiping a pair of bags and scoring on Mike Moustakas’ sixth-inning single.

It was a good night for the hitters.

The pitching left a bit to be desired.

Trevor Cahill couldn’t make it out of the fifth, allowing six hits and walking two. He surrendered solo home runs to Kyle Seager in the second and Danny Valencia in the fourth, staking the Mariners to a two-run lead before his ignominious departure.

After Moss broke through with a two-run shot in the fifth to tie it up, Guillermo Heredia put the visitors back up a run the following inning with a single to center, scoring Valencia.

But Moustakas found the equalizer in the home half, then Cain drove in Alcides Escobar and Cabrera scored Whit Merrifield the following inning to put the Royals up for good. Moss’ second homer put the Royals up three runs before Robinson Cano’s ninth-inning liner couldn’t be corralled by Moustakas at third, with Jean Segura coming around to score.

It’s hard to fault Herrera in the ninth inning, even though it goes down as another appearance where he allowed a run, which can’t fill folks with confidence. He issued a four-pitch walk to Jean Segura (not great), who advanced to second on defensive indifference (meh) and then scored on Cano’s liner, which was over his head and curving off the bat of the left-handed Cano. It wasn’t the easiest play to make and Moose was a half-whisker from doing so.

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But regardless, the losing streak was halted at three games. Hopefully a winning streak can begin Saturday with Jason Hammel (what? Crap) squaring off against James Paxton (oh no) at 7:15 p.m. (CT) at Kauffman Stadium.