Saturday Night Live Blog – Sunday Edition


Hello and greetings and how are ‘ya?

I’m back from a mini hiatus (or extended if you’re counting at home) to announce my presence with authority, or something like that. In reality, it’s a holiday weekend and I’ve convinced The Lady to leave me alone for a few hours while I sit and watch the Royals game in its entirety. This should be fun.

Not a whole lot has changed since our last Live Blog edition. The Royals continue to lose games they shouldn’t, Eric Hosmer shows flashes of brilliance both at the plate and in the field, and Alex Gordon continues to be a star. So really, this has been your typically Royals season: bright spots here and there, frustrations abound, and an overall losing record.

But fear not better days are ahead. At least, that’s what everyone wants to say. For the first time in a while this year’s roster seems to be made up of players that actually deserve to be on next year’s roster, and that’s a big step forward. Even though some of those players shouldn’t get a two-year committed deal, yes that’s you Jeff Francoeur, the consistency within an organization both with the coaching staff and on the roster is one of those invaluable, intangible aspects of The Process that should speed things along.

So fire up the grill, grab a cold beverage, and head back here to follow along with today’s live blog. See you at first pitch.

1:06 – Today’s lineup pops on the screen, I’m overjoyed to see that Francoeur is not in it. This makes my day.

1:10 – Looks like a beautiful day in KC. I’d be jealous, but I live in Orange County.

1:11 – Jeff Francis looks all Jeff Francis to the first batter being all over the place. Then hangs a curveball for a double. Yay.

1:12 – GETZ! See, he can be a shortstop by fielding a ball hit right at him and crow-hopping four times to throw the ball across the infield. He’s super-Eckstein like.

1:14 – OT: Even though he’s a really good player and has killed the Royals throughout his career, I really miss peak-Grady Sizemore. I always enjoyed watching him play. Now the Indians play this Carrera guy in center and bat him leadoff. He bats leadoff because he’s small and can run some, but not because he can either hit or get on-base at an acceptable rate. But hey, he *looks* like a leadoff hitter.

1:16 – Frank White has never met a setting or an event or a conversation in his life that he couldn’t chuckle at.

1:18 – I would pay good money to watch Keith Law argue with Ryan Lefebvre about… anything.

1:19 – Francis deals back to back walks to Carlos Santana and Chris Duncan‘s older (and supposedly worse) brother. Doesn’t he know you’re supposed to pitch to contact?

1:20 – Jason Donald follows the walk with a single (shocked!) and a run scores. Mitch Maier does his Mitch Maier thing and throws out Santana at the plate, but not before Brayan Pena does his Brayan Pena thing. The consistency with which the Royals are terrible and comedic really is quite impressive. Indians lead 1-0 after a half-inning. Joy.

1:22 – My man Alex Gordon leads the Royals 1st by first-pitch-swinging (drink) and grounding out to short. On a side note, read this.

1:25 – C’mon Billy.

1:26 – Er, Country Breakfast.

1:27 – Butler doubles. He’s good. Now Manny Acta thinks intentionally walking a guy in the First Freaking Inning is a smart thing to do. Over-managing, table for one?

1:30 – Johnny Giavotella, or Gianchino, or Giovatello if you’re a KC radio host, flies out to end the first. Obviously, Acta knows baseball more than any of us. Either that or odds randomly fell in his favor this time. Nah, I’m sure it’s the “smarter”, thing. 1-0 Indians.

1:33 – Francis pitches to contact and gives up another double. This to lead off the inning. Ned Yost should now intentionally walk someone with first base open.

1:34 – Lou Marson singles. Lou. Marson. Ugh.

1:35 – Francis pitches to contact and give up another double to some guy named Jared Head. Apparently he grew up a Royals fan living in Topeka. Sucker. 2-0 Indians and growing fast.

1:36 – Tomorrow for your Labor day reading pleasure (or something) I’ll be posting a mailbag column. You know, because everyone does a mailbag column nowadays. Have any questions you want to ask me, shoot me an email at

1:38 – Eric Hosmer with a great play on a chopper right at the bag. That could have been a nasty break. Well done, young Padawan.

1:40 – Francis pitches to contact and gives up another double. And again, it’s of the ground-ball-down-the-line variety. This is thoroughly enjoyable. 4-0 Indians. This Live Blog might not last very long today.

1:43 – Diving play by Getz, yes! Throw to first is short by six feet and dug out. Surprised? Nah.

4-0 Indians after 1 1/2 innings.

1:44 – Can’t Miss Mike Moustakas flies out to shallow left. I’m going to beat this dead horse for a while.

1:50 – After a single and a walk, Chris Getz comes to the plate. Now, I haven’t watched a game in a couple weeks, so it’s good to see that Getz hasn’t lost his ability to pound 7-hoppers to the second baseman. #HatsoffKC. Oh wait, wrong medium. Double play ends the inning, 4-0 Indians.

1:52 – Frank and Ryan are joined in the booth by Jamie Gordon, Alex’s wife. I don’t know her, but I don’t like her. Alex is mine.

1:55 – Not really paying attention to the game right now because I’m listening to Jamie Gordon. She’s a pretty cool chick. Very cool thing what she and Alex or doing. Meanwhile, Francis hasn’t gotten one swing-and-miss today, but given up another hit and a walk. Awesome.

1:58 – And Francis just hit a right-handed batter on the knee with a curve ball. It’s time for a drink.

2:02 – A loud out on a flyball to non-centerfielder centerfielder Melky Cabrera ends the inning. Jeff Francis has a 4.17 xFIP this year. How the hell is it that low?

Indians lead 4-0.

2:09 – I’m sure they’re swell kids and all, but I hate it when people name things normal words but spill it “Dawgs”.

2:09 – And Melky strikes out on a changeup away that finished at the Plaza.

2:10 – C’mon Billy.

2:10 – And the Royals go down 1-2-3. They have yet to hit a ball hard off a pitcher that’s so good, his manager had him intentionally walk a batter in the first inning.

Still 4-0 Indians.

2:14 – Jeff Francis starts the 4th innings with an out on a comebacker. He’s already above 70 pitches. I thought that’s what you avoided when you pitched to contact. Weird. #morestrikeoutsplease

2:16 – Francis pitches to contact and gives up a double to right center. That’s what, seven doubles for the Indians already? Oof.

2:17 – Santana hurts himself running the bases. Ned Colletti smiles and says “I knew that guy would never make it.” Ned Colletti is a bad GM.

2:21 – Sidetracked by wedding planning stuff I noticed Dave Duncan’s other son ground out to end the inning. Yay for no runs being scored.

Still 4-0 Indians.

2:24 – Eric Hosmer. Double; left center; one-hops the wall. Didn’t sound like he really got it. Kid can hit.

2:27 – Giavotella grounds out to short. He will be praised for moving a runner to third – he still decreased the team’s outs by one.

2:28 – Can’t Miss Mike Moustakas grounds to Can’t Miss Lonnie Chisenhall and the universe crumbles. Error on Chisenhall (will probably be scored a hit because it was a “tough play” or some junk) allows Hosmer to score. 4-1 Indians.

2:31 – And a double play ends the inning. Well that rally was fun. At least we’re on the board.

4-1 Indians.

2:34 – Leadoff single would be interested if it weren’t for Ryan and Frank falling all over themselves because there’s pizza in the booth. You would think a Smothers Brothers routine was on their monitor.

2:38 – Non-centerfielder centerfielder Melky Cabrera makes a “nice play” (says Ryan) on a shallow fly ball to center. There are two outs.

2:39 – Second base umpire wasn’t getting enough air time, he calls Donald safe on a pickoff play at second.

2:40 – Okay he may have been safe. But still.

2:43 – Jerad Head grounds out to end the inning. That’s two straight scoreless!

4-1 Indians.

2:46 – I feel like the kid in Little Big League that keeps saying Wegman should start, but Mitch Maier should play more. He flies out to right.

2:47 – Chris Getz with a 7-hopper to second. This one happens to make it to the outfield. Good for him.

2:48 – Ryan trying to tell us that Chris Getz could be a valuable utility guy if he can play shortstop. Ryan doesn’t realize that even utility players need to be able to hit the ball to the outfield sometimes.

2:49 – Alex strikes out. My heart weeps.

2:50 – Drink. First-pitch-swinging Melky pops out to short. This. Is. Baseball.

4-1 Indians after five.

2:57 – Oh, sorry. Tim Collins entered the game and I immediately fell asleep. I think he struck someone out. Someone got on base before that, so I’m sure he’s up to 36 pitches already.

3:00 – Tim Collins just turned 22, has a 5.03 xFIP, and can’t throw strikes. He shouldn’t be in the Major Leagues.

3:01 – Another full count from Collins. Seriously, I think this inning has lasted 24 minutes and it’s only been three batters.

3:01 – And another walk. I think maybe Collins just likes pitching – he wants to make sure he gets to throw as much as possible given his limited opportunities. Oh and he’s no exited the game.

3:06 – Shelley Duncan, relative of Chris and Dave, homers. Off of Jesse Chavez. You know, because he’s just as bad as what he’s always been. That’s cool, he should still get to pitch in the Major Leagues. #TtheP

7-1 Indians. This is excruciating.

3:10 – I’ve got friends in low places too. They all stand at the The K and sing that song.

3:10 – C’mon Billy.

3:12 – Butler singles to center because that’s all he is: a singles hitter.

3:16 – Lonnie Chisenhall commits his second error of the day on a ground ball from Johnny Gia, but the official scorer felt bad for him and credited the play a hit. Because, you know, when someone screws up, you should totally punish the pitcher.

3:17 – Can’t Miss Mike Moustakas with a walk! Bases loaded with just one out. We’ll totally get one run out of this.

3:21 – Well maybe not. Pena grounds into a 5-3 double play. No runs score. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. No one? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Still 7-1, Indians B Lineup.

Side thought: for all the people that want to complain of all the “negativity” that surrounds the Royals, your optimism is just as annoying. Can things actually get better before we start talking about how they are better? Because it’s still the same thing every year. And until this team actually finishes above .500, it’s not getting any better. It’s about wins.

3:25 – Chris Getz fields a ball to his left and struggles to throw it across the infield. Yet somehow, the Royals think he can play short. He can’t. He can barely play second.

3:28 – A weak pop-up and an infield tapper for an out and the inning is over. Gee, it’s almost like the Indians have a bunch of Triple-A players in their lineup today. Oh wait, they do.

Indians still lead 7-1 though.

3:32 – Mitch Maier leads the Royals 7th with a single. “You should really start Wegman”.

3:34 – Getz strikes out. There’s no news to report, I just like pointing out when he does something bad. It’s lame of me, but then, I don’t care.

3:35 – Alex Gordon singles. There’s no news to report, I just like pointing out when he does something good. Because I was right about him and you all were wrong. Eat it.

3:39 – Probably shouldn’t admit this, but I am killing some Angry Birds right now. It’s much more interesting than this game.

3:40 – Melky with a dribbler to third scoring a run. That worked out well. Now let’s get some Country Breakfast big fly to get back in this.

3:44 – Four-pitch walk to Billy Butler loads the bases. Solid day’s work for Chad Durbin as those four pitches will be his only for the day. Another bullpen call, Hosmer bats with the bases loaded.

3:49 – Hosmer sees three pitches, swings at three pitches. None of them were strikes. He’s not that good yet, people. Sorry to say it. An infield blooper forces Gordon at the plate. (In a bit of a strange play that could only happen to the Royals.) We won’t score with a perfect opportunity again.

3:53- Kevin had to tend to some personal business so I am taking over for the next few minutes. I’m the Lady Friend as he ever so lovingly puts it.

3:55- Mooooooooseeeeee is up, 2-2 long foul ball… please don’t strike out.

3:57- I am a big SF Giants fan. Moose would fit in well with our animal named players Panda and Baby Giraffe. But Kevin thinks hes terrible so I dont really want him

4:00- ANOTHER foul ball. This is why the Royals bother me. I was fully planning on having this game be over by the time I finished my run, ate lunch, showered, and got ready for our BBQ… and it is just now the 8th inning. Mooooooooooosse popped up to end the inning and the Royals failed to capitalize on bases loaded 1 out yet again. With the exception of 1 run walked in that is.

Royals losing 7-3

4:01- This Chavez character has really skinny legs.

4:03- Getz short hops Hosmer… I have a stronger arm than he does. “you throw like a girl”

4:04- Chavez walks somone…. “pitch to contact” and yes I am just going to keep quoting all the BS things that get yelled in my house every night.

and now BOMB by a guy with a girl name… Shelley Duncan. 9-3 Indians.

4:09- Another fly ball. 1 out bottom 8. Everyone should take Getz approach and slap the ball into the ground. Getz would actually be a really good slapper if he played softball.

4:13- 3 up 3 down.  9-3 Indians…….

4:15- Top of the 9th. I am excited to go to the BBQ  on the beach. I baked chocolate chip cookies and my brother is doing the grilling and hes a great cook. Kevin likes to be anti-social but once he gets places (read- has a few beverages) he is fine.

Why is Chavez still pitching?

4:17-  if the Royals don’t pull this game out,  they can at least go home knowing that their outfits are prettier than the Indians.  2 outs bottom of the 9th.

4:20- Thank goodness Getz didn’t have to throw to first. 3 outs. Rally time Royals (ha)

4:23- Alex is up, Im not allowed to talk.

4:27- what is Melky short for?

4:28- Melky walks with 1 out. Of course. Let’s make this inning as long as possible. Maybe the Indians will make a pitching change.

Billy is up. I like Billy.

4:30- Billy hits another double. 38 doubles on the year. Double Doubles from In n Out are really good if any of you guys every visit Cali.

Hosmer up with runners on second and third.

4:33- Hosmer hits a Getz like grounder… but he has power, so 2 runs score Hosmer on 2nd.  9-5 Indians

4:35- The italian kid gets a base hit to right, Hosmer scores. 9-6 Indians. Pitching change… UGH

If this game goes to extra innings we are NOT going to be here.

4:39- Perez has a super frumpy body, and his pants are high waters.

Mooooose pops up to center. 2 outs bottom of the 9th.

2:40- Pop up by Pena. Royals lose this nail biter 9-6.

Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend everyone.