Stubborn Like a Missouri Mule


People can be so hard headed sometimes. Take my wife for example. Over the past sixteen years, I have repeatedly suggested that she do everything the way I’d like it to be done, when I’d like it done. Yet she stubbornly insists upon having her own say in the matter, against all good reason I might add.

And apparently it’s not just women who are stubborn. Consider Mike Aviles. How many times throughout his career do you imagine a coach or teammate has suggested he adopt a more conventional approach at the plate? I mean, that dude has one weird looking batting stance, right up there with the weirdest of all time. It’s so crazy, even the Batting Stance Guy is afraid to imitate him, apparently. Maybe he’s scared he’ll rupture a disc and have to go on the comedian’s version of the DL. Anyway, you can just imagine that every time Mike gets into a slump, some well intentioned colleague will mention that perhaps he should reconsider doing his version of the repulsive Elaine Benis dance and switch to a stance that will allow optimum plate coverage and bat control. But Mike just insists on doing it his own way, for better or worse. And when you look at his results, it’s mostly for the better. I suspect he’ll even end up as a multi-millionaire someday soon for his efforts, though that includes just about anybody who can manage to hang around on a major league roster for more than a few years (not that I mind paying twenty seven dollars for a hot dog and a cold brew if that’s what it takes to make Bill Gates wish he was a journeyman utility man).

Coaches can be hard headed as well. How else to explain Ned Yost’s insistence that Jason Kendall “fits that bill perfectly” as a second place hitter in the lineup. Really, Ned? Perfectly? Many would disagree. I thought moving Kendall from sixth to ninth was one of the smarter moves Ned made upon taking over. I think it’s time to once again consider that switch.

And it’s not just Kendall’s place in the batting order that has people scratching their heads. It’s also Ned’s insistence on playing Jason practically every inning at the most demanding position in the game, at age 36. Brayan Pena may not be the second coming of Johnny Bench behind the plate, but he is a capable hitter, and he has a decent arm. He won’t kill us. Either give him a chance to spell Kendall once a week, or find someone who can.

When will the people of the world understand that I only have their best interests at heart, and start doing everything my way? We can only live and hope, my friends.