As is customary during a Royals’ offseason, the rumors fly thick and early. Dayton Moore is known for a quick trigger when it comes to making moves once the season is over. You can only analyze the rumors and truths from so many angles before it starts to drive you crazy. So today, I’ve decided to take a break and attempt to find something amusing in the first 3 interesting-looking articles on Royals.com. (Disclaimer: Anything that I mock in the following has nothing to do with Dick Kaegel’s writing. I’ve got mad respect for that guy.)
1) The first news article I saw was entitled “Getz returns to Royals with one-year deal.” This isn’t necessarily so funny in and of itself, but a quote by Chris Getz regarding his injury-plagued season made me chuckle:
You kind of know if you’re going to be around .300 and there are other years where you’re kind of inconsistent and battling to be around .250,” he said. “That was the hardest part, because I felt I was having one of those around-.300 years, but I just kept being knocked down by injuries.
I don’t exactly know where Getz is coming from. I find it doubtful that a player comes into a year thinking, “Man, it feels like a .250 year,” or “Man, there’s no way I’m hitting anything less that .300 this year.” Mostly this is funny because in all the years Getz has been in the league, he only sniffed .300 in 2008 as a member of the White Sox where he batted .286. So here’s to hoping that Getz “feels like it’s another .300 type of year.”
2) The next article that caught my eye was entitled “Glass keeps future in mind as Royals eye upgrades.” There are plenty of amusing quotes to tickle your innards as you read, but I chose this one:
What we’ve said is we need to be in the $70 million range to break even, and our goal is to try to continue to break even,” Glass said. “We’re not interested in making money, but we don’t want to subsidize it to any great extent.
I could sit here and discuss with you the issues with this statement, but as luck would have it, Rany just posted an article that discusses the budget and he does it in a much more knowledgeable way than I ever could. The article doesn’t strictly deal with the financial straits of the franchise, but he does hit on it at the end and his posts are always worth a read. Take a look at it here and smirk cynically at the idea of “breaking even” with me.
3) The final article I’m taking a look at is “Royals uniform numbers a Powerball coincidence.” I’m originally from St. Joseph, Missouri, which is near Dearborn and when I originally heard that one of the Powerball winners up there had used Royals uniform numbers to pick numbers, I thought it was a pretty good story and was hoping that it proved true. My hopes were, however, dashed:
The Hills, from Dearborn, Mo. (pop. 496), near Kansas City, did not pick their winning Powerball Lottery numbers by summoning up the uniform numbers of Royals stars of the past. It was a nice theory bounced around the Internet for a while on Friday.
Apparently these guys are Royals fans, though, so maybe they’ll donate some of their winnings to payroll?
I don’t think that’s unreasonable.