Saturday the KC Royals beat the Pale Stockings 8-7 in a dramatic come-from-way-behind, walk-off, Disney commercial set to a baseball game.
The Kansas City Royals scored a touchdown in the ninth inning.
With 00:01 on the clock, Eric Hosmer threw a 99-yard touchdown pass to Brett Eibner to tie the game at 7. Drew Butera, playing for the injured Sal Perez, kicked the extra point and the Kauffman Stadium home fans went blue bonkers. Eibner’s mom was in the stands and was headed for what looked like an imminent heart attack just moments before Eibner knocked in Butera to score the winning run. I swear I heard a Cubs fan giggle.
KC was behind 7-1 in the 9th inning when Paulo Orlando struck out looking. At this time the KC Royals winning odds dropped so low Pete Rose was forced to hedge his parlays. (Those are sportsbetting terms, basically a nice way to insinuate that I know more than you.)
To say the Kansas City Royals were a longshot at that time would be like saying The Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria were “three boats”. Orlando walked back to the dugout defeated, he didn’t expected to be back out and reaching 2nd base by defensive indifference only moments later.
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The KC Royals dropped a seven in the ninth frame to complete the walk-off victory and cap a two-day comeback of epic proportions. Salvy wasn’t available to drench anyone since he left in the ninth after complaining about “feeling bloated”. Eibner and Butera did the post game interview with Royals broadcaster Joel Goldberg. Butera grabbed Eibner and Goldberg and held them in place soon to be double-splashed by Alcides Escobar and Orlando.
In more serious news, due to the last two games with the Kansas City Royals, the entire south side of Chicago has ceded from Illinois. Saturday night, 752,496 disgruntled White Soxians abandoned their baseball team and relocated to a Wyoming rock-n-roll fantasy camp just outside La Grange.
The new city (large ranch actually) has been named New Guppyland. The new residents have asked to be “recognized officially” and “frankly, just left the hell alone”. The upside is New Guppyland has a slick spokesman named Hawk Harrelson and nowhere to go but uppy.
Drew Carey, the Moon Over Parma dude and tv host of the new game show “The Price Is Negotiable”, tweeted out for help from the #Royals page. Wanted us to beat Chicago so his Cleveland Indians would vault into first place in our division. He’s a cute little fella. Cleveland rooted for the KC Royals Friday and Saturday, wonder if they be royal rooting Sunday?
Another great event on Twitter happened Friday afternoon. It was posted that White Sox closer David Robertson had given up a run in only one out of his last nineteen appearances against the KC Royals. Maybe they can trade David for Phil Robertson. He could help them in Wyoming with all the hunting and fishing and Phil has a better beard.
“I’m going to be the best cheerleader you’ve ever seen.” – Mike Moustakas after Thursday’s game.
Hard to argue with results.
I’ve been hangin’ at #signDayton4tenMooreyearsdawg&getmeahamsandwich
Let’s Go KC Royals!