KC Royals: 5 Reasons It Would Suck To Be A White Sox Fan

1) Hawk Harrelson Announces White Sox Games

The absolute WORST thing about being a White Sox fan is that you have to listen to Hawk Harrelson broadcast games on TV.

Hearing him the few times that MLB.com TV gets pre-empted because WGN is showing the White Sox game in my local area or back when I didn’t pay the extra $10 bucks to choose broadcast teams for every game, it’s freaking TORTURE.

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Listening to Hawk Harrelson makes be want to jab a fork in my eye socket. Or jump off a building. Of course, if I committed suicide that way I’d probably wake up surrounded by 70 inch flatscreens playing NOTHING but Hawk Harrelson calling White Sox games.

For all eternity.

Yeah. Listening to Hawk Harrelson non-stop would be my definition of hell. He’s that bad.

Not only is Hawk Harrelson too stupid to understand sabermetrics so that his commentary becomes an endless ode to “the will to win”, he’s such a blatant White Sox cheerleader that he should wear pom poms.  And, his homerism isn’t even fun. Instead, we get tag lines like “He Gone” for White Sox home runs and endless references to “we”, as if everyone in the world were a White Sox fan.

Now, every local broadcaster favors the home team. But, Hawk Harrelson’s homerism is so bad that it gets in the way of making informative observations about the other team. For example, late last season Hawk Harrelson told his audience that the Royals weren’t much different than the terrible White Sox, you know that team that finished dead last in Fangraphs.com’s team defense metrics (the KC Royals were first).

White Sox team vice-president Kenny Williams and GM Rick Hahn thought so much of that 2015 squad they tore it up and completely rebuilt it last winter.

Great analysis, Hawk.

Next: Royals Series Preview: Southside Showdown

Yeah, Hawk. You live in an alternate reality.  The only reason you’re worth listening to is to make fun of your stupidity.