KC Royals Lighter Shade of Blue: Fans No Fear Pale Hose

The KC Royals face off with the American League Central leading Chicago White Sox this weekend, in a key early-season showdown.

No hoards of Kansas City Royals fans were seen running for cover. No sirens were sounded prior to this series and no ominous tornadoes were spotted in the metropolitan area. Hail was predicted by most, but the brand new Mustangs sat idle in car lots outside. No one ran into large underground storm shelters. No one bought batteries.

No fans rushed to grocery stores to buy up every single Ibuprofen and bottle of Pepto-Bismal in stock. No shelves were empty by the time this reporter arrived. I ran to the hard liquor aisle out of habit. Still full. I grabbed a snow shovel and some ice melt from 2004 for a ridiculous price anyway.

I drove quickly to another store and spoke with head stocker Mike Crane. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” He pontificated. “No waves of blue clad KC Royals fans pushing for their lives and grabbing Motrin, antacids, breath mints. You name it. It wasn’t a circus.”

No one draped in a raincoat sold aspirin on the street corner for inflated prices.