Royals Ned Yost Follows Wacky Blueprint In KC Win

The Royals showed their fans a living exhibit of Webster’s definition for the word paradigm on Wednesday night: “an outstandingly clear or typical example…of a Kansas City Royals’ victory.” 

This definition is taken from a moldy dictionary published in the late 1930’s, which somehow neglected to include that part about a Kansas City Royals victory. Perhaps this lapse had something to do with the Royals founder Ewing Kauffman not getting around to joining the American League until 1969.

The famous saxophonist Ben Webster was born in Kansas City, MO and played with Jazz greats Fletcher Henderson, Duke Ellington, and Art Tatum. He then moved to Merriam, KS after the great depression and founded Merriam-Webster online dictionary, which spawned Merriam-Webster Urban online.

He also had a raucous MySpace page/account. Webster also coined the catch phrase “Wouldn’t YOU like to know?” And all of this while playing lead sax with The Count Basie Orchestra (special thanks to reader Michael Crane for providing this basically worthless information).                                                        

In Tuesday’s game vs. Houston, manager Ned Yost‘s boys gave their fans a perfect example of a paradigm in the most Royals sense…

One run victory. No runs given up in four innings by the four man bullpen. Final score 4-3 KC Royals. No fingernails consumed. Outstandingly clear and typical.

Wednesday’s game was yet another outstandingly clear and typical example of a Kansas City Royals victory. A 4-2 win. The Royals have the best record in close games over the past two-and-half seasons. The team they beat resides in a large city that overestimates the quality of it’s smoked ribs and barbecue sauce, by refusing to recognize the vast inferiority of their local eateries compared to Gates, Arthur Bryant’s, and Fiorella’s Jack Stack.

That’s another typical example we see repeated in city after city. Here are some more:

1. Mike the Moose got a double in the first inning. The crowd yells “MOOOOSE”.

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2. Sweet double play started with excellent plays by Omar Infante and Alcides Escobar in the 2nd inning.

3. In the bottom of the 6th inning, Yordano Ventura let Jose Altuve hit a home run, because the ace was just trying to be friendly.  The KC Royals let the Astros tie the game at two in the bottom of the 7th inning. The Royals were afraid Houston’s fans might assume the Astros were nothing but a bunch of talentless bums. They try to take the high road when possible.

4. In the 8th inning, the famous Italian backstop Salvatore  Perezetti, launched a two-run home run to left-field to make the score 4-2 in favor of the team with the good barbecue. Salvy hit the slider on a 3-2 count with two outs in the 8th. Salvy is taking more pitches this season and he will continue to be a solid .300 hitter as long as he is selective at the plate.

5. Kelvin Herrera struck out two in the 8th inning. Yawn.

6. Joakim Soria came in to get the save because the Royals were trying to be fair and let the lessor team have a chance. It took him five pitches to dispatch the 9th inning. Typical. That’s the same number of World Series games it took the boys in blue to win the championship in 2015.

I write little notes to myself during the games. It’s nice to know someone is thinking about me.

Rex Hudler called Kendrys Morales‘ opposite field double in the 2nd inning.

Ventura struck out Colby Rasmus on 4 straight curves in the 1st inning.

Pepperoni, salami and mushrooms?

*Top of the 6th – “NEVER walk the bases loaded for Sal P.” Six and two is a great start!

Oh yeah, some guy named Kobe Bryant scored 60 points in his final game Wednesday night while Royals fans were busy watching baseball.

And the Golden State Warriors won the all-time record 73rd regular season game tonight (73-9) in a league called the NBA.

Sometimes I wonder how many things I’ve missed out on because I happen to be obsessed with the Kansas City Royals.

Next: Royals Report: Joakim Soria Earns First KC Save In Five Years

Oh well….

LGR!