Jul 20, 2013; Kansas City, MO, USA; Kansas City Royals general manager Dayton Moore (left) and owner David Glass watch the Detroit Tigers during batting practice before the game at Kauffman Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

David Glass Has Sold the Kansas City Royals to Jack Taylor


 

Aug 13, 2013; Kansas City, MO, USA; Kansas City Royals general manager Dayton Moore watches batting practice before the game against the Miami Marlins at Kauffman Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

The prayers of Royals fans have finally been answered.

According to unconfirmed reports, David Glass has agreed to sell the Kansas City Royals to an ownership group led by Jack Taylor, the aged founder of Enterprise Rent-A-Car for $450 Million. With Glass having purchased the Royals for $96 Million back in 2000, this sale results in a significant return on his original investment.

This announcement comes not even two months after Dan Glass refuted reports that the Royals were for sale. However, perhaps unsurprisingly, Glass admitted that profit was his overriding reason for selling the Royals. This only confirms the suspicions of Royals fans everywhere who felt that lining his pockets was far more important to Glass than bringing another championship to Kansas City. In a completely shocking move, Glass announced this decision via Twitter.

Almost quintupled my investment in 14 years. Best move ever! #Royals #profit – @EScroogeRoyals

Fortunately, for us Royals fans, we now have an owner that appears to be committed to winning. Despite being a Cardinals fan, Taylor is looking forward to bringing a championship to Kansas City, and is willing to spend to make it happen.

“I’ve won in the business arena and in life. Now, in my last few years, I want to win in baseball,” Taylor said.

Finally freed from the bonds of frugality, Dayton Moore appeared to welcome the news that new ownership was forthcoming.

“I’m going to have money to spend? No more Wal-Mart free agents!” Moore exclaimed while popping the top off a champagne bottle.

Although the sale will not be official until after the season, Taylor indicated that he will supply the finances required to upgrade the roster. Based on those same reports, the Royals have already made overtures towards the Milwaukee Brewers, inquiring about the availability of Yovani Gallardo and Ryan Braun. Meanwhile, the Royals are also looking to shed their long deserved reputation for austerity, contacting Scott Boras about a long term extension for Eric Hosmer.

With the new found financial freedom that Dayton Moore will enjoy, who can tell what the future will hold for the Kansas City Royals? What is certain is that this post, unfortunately, is entirely fictional. Happy April Fools Day!

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Tags: David Glass Kansas City Royals

  • moretrouble

    Happy April Fool’s Day, Dave.

    • Dave Hill

      You too MT.

  • Nikole

    Too bad this was accidentally posted a few days ago. Good job though!

    • Dave Hill

      Occasionally there are glitches where a scheduled post appears, then gets taken down. Glad you enjoyed it though. :)

  • TwistedCyberChick

    dat photo XD

    • Dave Hill

      It was just too perfect for the post.

  • antony555

    Its kind of hard for an older gentleman to turn back flips, and to run through my neighborhood with my PJ,S on yelling the real Royals who used to kick butt in the AL years ago. Also supplied the entire pro baseball with quality players both NL and AL teams as soon as they were good enough to be called young superstars traded to said teams. Good one my man, good one..

    • Dave Hill

      Thanks Antony. If this really happens, I’ll be there doing backflips with you.

  • Brady Warshawsky

    Oh you SOB! You had me going so good! I was about to start doing backflips in celebration of getting rid of Glass. Good job sir.

    • Dave Hill

      Thanks Brady. This was a lot of fun to write.

  • unclejesse40

    Daveid you are a horrible person :-)

    • Dave Hill

      I just couldn’t resist. :)