Mandatory Credit: Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

Hold Me Closer, Tiny Pitcher: An Ode to Tim Collins


Tim Collins is a tiny pitcher. You already know this. You also know he’s been a pretty good pitcher in his time with the Royals, striking out over a batter per inning. What you may not know, is Collins’ stature and performance has led many fans to use the hashtag #HoldMeCloserTinyPitcher during his appearances. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s a play on the chorus from the famous Elton John song, “Tiny Dancer.” Twitter user Bucky Weston (@DJSilly) appears to be the first to come up with the catch phrase, with this tweet from 2011:

 

Since then, the phrase has just stuck. I’m a pretty big fan of Collins, so I decided Collins deserved more than just a hashtag. A pitcher like him deserves more recognition and more notoriety for being so good while being so darn small.

Tim Collins deserves a whole song.

(For the full effect, you’ll want to click on the “Tiny Dancer” link from above, and allow that to play now.) And without further ado, I present, “Tiny Pitcher”:

 

Blue uniform, KC traded for, pitcher from the pen
Little lefty, face is beardy, you’ll carry a backpack in
Timmy Collins, you must have seen him, just west of Boston
And now he’s in there, with that mean stare, tiny pitcher for the win

Scouting freaks, out on the street
Saying he is just too small
Turns around, he won’t frown
The Boulevard goes on down

Salvy Perez, the things he says
Down at Kauffman Stadium
Tim looks up, adjusts his cup
The sign he gets, he brings it home

Oh how the curve looks good
Here I stood, with this bat of wood
Only you and you can see me
When I swing softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny pitcher
Count the strikeouts on the diamond
Ring ‘em up with filthy curveballs
You had a long walk from the bullpen

Hold me closer tiny pitcher
Count the strikeouts on the diamond
Ring ‘em up with filthy curveballs
You had a long walk from the bullpen

Blue uniform, KC traded for, pitcher from the pen
Little lefty, face is beardy, you’ll carry a backpack in
Timmy Collins, you must have seen him, just west of Boston
And now he’s in there, with that mean stare, tiny pitcher for the win

Oh how the curve looks good
Here I stood, with this bat of wood
Only you and you can see me
When I swing softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny pitcher
Count the strikeouts on the diamond
Ring ‘em up with filthy curveballs
You had a long walk from the bullpen

Hold me closer tiny pitcher
Count the strikeouts on the diamond
Ring ‘em up with filthy curveballs
You had a long walk from the bullpen

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Tags: Kansas City Royals Tim Collins

  • TwistedCyberChick

    ok, that’s awesome XD this must’ve taken quite a while. great work!!

  • Blake Molina

    Beautiful lyrics